Wednesday, 26 December 2007

Thank God It's over!

Well it's been and gone. And all I can say is, 'What happened?' There it was, Christmas coming along like an uncontrolled train and suddenly, it was over! I was so knackered from shopping, Xmas decorating, more shopping, keeping jolly, more shopping, struggling with the crowds, more shopping and on it goes. That by the time Christmas Day came, I was off with the fairies or maybe it could have been the satanic demons. Call me grump because I was Mrs Grump. I was so fed up with wrapping and cooking and smiling that I didn't have time to drink my beloved Vodka! Well, I mean, lets be realistic, Xmas without a jolly large VAT is not bloody Christmas.

Well we all enjoyed ourselves - including me - after the VAT. I can safely say that I am no longer Mrs Grump, but Mrs Knackered and Mrs Can't Wait For The Kids To Be Back At School cos they are driving me MAD! In a nice way of course.

Henry of course, behaved like a gentleman. Oh My God, I was so worried that he would embarrass me in front of my guests by being a puppy (like he is) but he was just the best. On his best behaviour. Must have read my mind. I was so proud. What a babe.

Polly and Fred (my cats) must have know Santa was on his way too, because madam was chatting to me all bloody night. meow, meow, meow ....... They sleep in my bedroom since Henry arrived, and eat in there too, Polly is too scared to eat anywhere near Henry, so being the softy that I am, she's now fed upstairs.

Friday, 14 December 2007

Freezing My Tits Off!

God it's so bloody cold that I'm freezing my tits off taking Henry (my dog) out to the loo. Why oh why can't any place do? Why do we have to wonder around the garden so many times only to come back to the first place to do our business!!!

Took Henry out for a walk today. Just to fill you all in, Henry is the laziest dog on the planet. When I got a retriever I was told they need loads of exercise, well this little man doesn't want any. A walk up the street is painful, for me, because after about 100yards he wants to go home. And he's a heavy bugger, so dragging is out of the question.

However, today I took him to the woods and he loved it. Had him on one of those retractable leads and he was over the moon. It was such a joy, then the little bastard decided to pitch his strength against mine and gave a mammoth tug as he sped away and I lost him. He ran round and round this muddy patch with the entrance just 20yards from us, open onto a busy road, I too was running round and round the muddy patch. (Not as gracefully as he, the green wellies and muddy coat not as glam as a gorgeous cream furry duvet.) Before I fell on my face I stopped panicking and launched myself onto him.

I missed by a mile.

But I managed to grab his lead and pull him in.

Then I went home, humiliated.

Bloody dogs, what's wrong with cats I ask myself, they never make me throw myself onto the ground like a mad woman.

Tuesday, 11 December 2007


Synopsis as promised.

For an MS of around 80-100,000 words, an author would be expected to restrict their proposal, or outline, to around two to 2.5 pages of single spaced typing.

1. Introduce the setting and the title. One sentence should cover where and when the story takes place (it doesn't necessarily have to be your first sentence, which needs to be as exciting and intriguing as you can make it, in order to draw the reader in).
2. Introduce your main characters by name, age, career, character etc. You should also, briefly, introduce and essential minor characters. A couple of paragraphs on each of these elements is sufficient.
3. Add a further paragraph detailing family, background etc., if these have bearing on the plot as a whole.
4. Try to establish the basics of the plot as economically, buy as clearly, as possible.
5. What is special about your novel? You should try to demonstrate to the editor what makes your story more appealing than all the hundreds of others she may have received that week.
6. Conflict: What and why is the problem which is keeping your hero and heroine apart?
7. Include short outlines of some important scenes. By important, I mean those scenes which change the direction of the plot and mark a step forward in the hero's and heroine's relationship.
8. The ebb and flow of the action: The coming together of the hero and heroine, then moving apart throughout the plot. The whys and wherefores.
9. The catalyst: As you near the end of the manuscript what is that makes your hero and heroine decide that they belong together?
10. The climax: Allow your reader a good. Romantic 'wallow' in the happiness of these two people they have come to care about.
11. The tie up: Make sure that all the loose ends are tidied away and that the reader is satisfied and can't wait to read your next novel.

Okay guys, I hope this information is helpful.