Dreaming Aloud

Back again.

I have decided to keep this blog going and relate to you all the on going work of a wannabe writer.

Having now decided to re-write my first novel (have written 3 more since) I have managed to create some brilliant characters, I think, I hope anyway.

As a brilliant agent once told me, characterisation, characterisation, characterisation. You need deep characterisation to sell a book in this over loaded market. So, I have included, lots of touchy feely emotions, not too many, just enough, I hope.

My heroes, who are Fae/vampires, have now got a face, a face of the actors I would love to play them. Thinking like this is not normal for me, I tend to keep most of my desires under wraps for fear of lambasting and ridicule. But after feeling low and crap for ages, I have decided to go for it.

Why not, what have I got to lose. I will think big and think positive and therefore, hopefully will attract positive energy, or so I read somewhere. Sounds good, doesn't it?

I have to tell you that I love this story I am writing, the characters, the plot and the sex are to die for, I say so myself, because I created them and therefore I have a right to love them. If I don't who will?

I love the way I can make them do anything I want. Bit of a control freak, you may ask. Well, perhaps, but to have them jump through the hoops I want them too, is brilliant.

I want to tell you a secret. I have done something I would never have done before I became so positive and that is that I have polished 6 chaps and sent them out to an agent. I have nothing to lose, all they can say is NO, or SEND MORE, then of course, I will have to write with turbo fingers, but I don't think that will happen, so I'm not worried, much.

If I get enough hits, i will post some of the story on here.

finger crossed.

Just more jibber-jabber.

I have been writing in the early hours of the morning, say about 5.30, like Annie, it feels wonderful and I'm so fresh that I can rattle on and produce some good stuff, especially after I have had a strong coffee. I get up at this time more due to the fact that my cats now come and wake me up for food by one of them, sitting on my head, and the other one, bashing me on my arm with his paw.

The paranormal book is steaming ahead and I'm very pleased with it, I have to say that in the 5 years I've been writing, my writing has changed thank god! Hee hee, when you look back you have to laugh - or shoot yourself. I laughed. When I sent that book out, an agent in America loved it but and there is the dreaded but, told me that I needed to develop the plot a lot more, but that the story was great and I shouldn't find any problems finding an agent or publisher - so why didn't she wait for me to do this???? Agents, god they can be strange people.

Anyhow, I have developed the plot, now that I read it I can see it was a tiny bit complicated, so I have shaved tons off it and neatened it up, I hope it will work. The problem I have come across now, is that my heroine has 2 guys after her and she wants them both!!! I'm wondering if this might make her a little slutty? What do you lot think? I think the only way round this, might be to add a bit of rom/com to it, which it wasn't before, that way she works.

For all you writers out there, especially women, don't you find it funny that we can fabricate such wonderful heroes in our books, who in real life do not exist, it makes me wonder how unsatisfied women are with the John Doe's of this world.

On another note, my mother in law is staying for 4 days. And ............. but............... well ................ and you can guess the rest! She's okay really, but she favours one of the children more and shows it, and this gets on my f...ing nerves, but I don't say anything, well I do sometimes and it's often laced with tangy lemon juice to really sting.

I haven't been able to write while she is here, cos she doesn't know about it, she would have caustic comments to make when not getting published, and when I get up early so does she. So my brain is buzzing and overheating with stuff that needs to come out. I think I will have to disappear today, upstairs in to the bedroom and write and pretend I have a monster headache and can't be disturbed.

I spoke to an old friend the other day, actually she rang me for my birthday, which most of you missed, she lives in southern Ireland. She has been there for 20yrs and asks every year for us to go over. And every year we say we will and we don't. BUT this year, I think I might go over on my own and have a jolly long weekend. Problem is she used to and maybe still does drink like a fish, and I can't anymore, I can't cope with the headaches in the morning, so I might take an intravenous drip with me to keep me hydrated. I can always shove it up my jumper - I will have to wear a big baggy jumper won't I!!!

A Few Days in the Life of Mercedes!!!!

Again it's been a few weeks since I last posted anything here, but I'm back.
I am stuffed with chocolate and it was my birthday last week, my kids got me breakfast in bed and lots of chocs and presents. Charlotte my 11 year old made me toast and tea, she was a little heavy on the marmite, but I had to eat it and was thirsty as hell for hours later.

The other day I went to the tip with my kids (lovely day out - ha ha ha!) and was verbally abused by some numpty old man. Just because where I had parked caused problems for me to get out in my HUGE 4x4 (as he called it) and I asked him to reverse. He told me to f.... off and if I couldn't drive a f....ing car THAT big then I shouldn't. After that, and I'm not one to hold my tongue, but on this occasion I did, shocked by the age of the man and the language. I mean, it was worse than mine! And brother can I have some down in the gutter lingo when I want to. Eventually the tip men came and moved some bollards for me to get out. What is the world coming to! I tell my kids it's rude and uncouth to swear (even though I do) and then they see this jumped up nitwit old fella verbally abusing their mother. Oh well, I went home and had a stiffy. A vodka guys, not a stiffy!!!!

My husband shocked the other day. He said, 'I'm going to clean the bathroom.' I stopped what I was doing in horror, took his temperature and couldn't believe it. Then I thought, oh he means a quick once over with the duster. But no, he cleaned it so well it was sparkling, he even cleaned the tiles and the paintwork etc. Better than I do (I hate cleaning, I do it because I have to, but I hate it) To this day I have no idea what got in to him. He's not unwell and my cleaning is fine, passable, really. I'm wondering whether he's had a bump to the head, or perhaps - well I can't imagine. Anyway, we'll see if it lasts and if it repeats itself.

Things are still tight here financially and it's a bugger. We just got our electric and gas bill through and f... me, it was 300 quid a month for the both. Wow! Can you believe that? I mean what the hell is going on in this country with prices, how is anyone supposed to live? With ten tons of jumpers on everyday just to keep warm. I know that my precious Aga is a spendaholic, but, well I say again, WOW! Don't say it, she's my baby and I wont give her up. Yes I will wear the tons of jumpers, but Doris (Aga as I've named her) stays.

Well what else, oh yes, it seems that Henry -the dog- has yet damaged me, he is so strong he's like a sodding rhinoceros when it comes to moving him sometimes. Now he's taken to sitting in the road when we go for walks. He's not keen on lead walks and lets me know by flopping down and lying down, therefore trying to move the little sod is like trying to move a rhinoceros. He will not budge and with my back in such a state it's not helping me. The other day he was in the lounge and decided to take my book, why? because he was bored and felt like it of course, I grabbed his collar and caught my finger underneath, he pulled and so did I (in different directions) and he yanked so hard he's torn the tendon in my finger. I am 44 and feel as if I'm 144, bad finger, bad back, back hips, this is all great and brother am I looking forward to getting older. NOT!

On the book front, well I am nearly half way through re-jigging my contemporary novel taking on board the agents advice, but have for the moment skipped back to my paranormal work and re-jigging that, because I read the other day that it's the NEW genre on the up and up, so I though I would do 6 chaps of re-jigging and post it off and see. Fingers crossed for me, please.

Bye for now, have to get back to writing some more.

Back Again.

Well it's been a long time since I wrote on here and not a lot has happened, well unless you can call having my ms rejected. But there is light at the end of the tunnel, one agent gave me advice, so now I am back to the drawing board and well on my way with re-writes.

The sun is out and my spirits are lighter, my mojo is back and drinking is my cuddly toy once again. Husband has been out doing some gardening and landscaping and I have been giving advice from the window. I hate gardening and have a bad back, which has got worse recently after stacking a load of logs. Stiff and creaking is what I am at the moment, this getting older is no fun at all.

My kids are at an age when they feel it is their right to tell me how I look and how I should look. I keep quiet and boil quietly inside. I think I have a pretty good idea of what suits me by now. Of course, these teenagers know it all. As I said to my 14 nearly 15 year old son, 'Do you want me to wear my trousers half way down by arse?' I did so and he was horrified. Baffled, I asked if this was not being trendy enough. His look of horror and disgust bounced from his eyes. I have to laugh, now, when they comment, I copy their dress code and this soon shuts them up.

I had my mother over last week, bless her, she means well, but she does drive me crazy. She came over to tell me that I should do this and should do that. If there is one word in the English language that gets my goat, it is 'should.' This raises my hackles and I growl inwardly. Every time she comes round, she has to do this. Why can she not just have a bit of fun and accept that we're all different? Aah, I forgot, if we're not like her, we're mental.

Talking of mental, my car was in the dock last week and I had a little VW Polo to whizz around in. My normal car is a guzzler 4X4, I know, I know and i will change it soon. I was so impressed with this nippy little form of transport that I kept popping out for things. Oops forgot the milk. Oops forgot the bread. Oops forgot the children. My kids thought it was cool, but trendy teenager said it didn't suit me. 'Why not?' I questioned, disappointed, cos I thought it did. 'Well it's just not you, Mum, that's why?' Aah, I see ,that explains it then. I have no idea what that meant and he couldn't elaborate any more on it, suffice to say, that he has a certain image of his mother that is different to his mother's.

Until the next time.

After Christmas

Well, it's after Christmas and back to normal. I am stuffed and sick of the sight of Christmas pud. We had a quiet one this year, just parents and us 4. Mind you we nearly lost the Christmas dinner thanks to Henry (the retriever), who did a flying leap towards the lamb, lucky for us I am as nimble as a ninja and was able to leap faster, grabbing it out of harms way. Poor mite was salivating at the thought of what he'd nearly caught. For good attempt he got his Christmas dinner too.

The rest of the holidays went by in late mornings and chilling watching the telly or reading, eating, walking the dog and then more chilling and watching the telly and or reading.

Since kids have gone back to school I have knuckled down to clean the house, which has been neglected with all the chilling and watching telly. Now I need a rest, phew that was hard.

The most disturbing thing happening at the moment is ...I fear I am going off booze. Yes you read it right, going off booze. I have no idea why, and no for those of you about to say it, I am not frigging preggas. I keep trying to drink but manage about two mouthfuls then think yuck. Is this a medical emergency? I have thought of racing down to the local ED (casualty) but then I think it might pass. It hasn't yet, hell, the thought of no booze, is a bad thought. I mean, who is going to drink all my vodka stashed in my cupboard? No, I am not going to give it away. That is unthinkable, besides, this illness may pass and when it does, what will I drink?

Well that's your lot for this entry, need to go do a test and see if still hostile towards the drink.

Just a note.

Had some friends round today, with 2 kids, ages 8 and 10. Both terrified of Henry (the golden retriever). Poor little things, their hearts were banging like mad, he must look so huge to them. Had to lock him up and he sulked for hours later.

Hubby and I have had a burst of energy (don't know where it's come from) we have decided to paint the lounge ready for Xmas. It needs it, I have been banging on about it for over 12 months. With having a coal fire, the room gets very mucky very quickly. We are going for a very deep red, a fire earth colour called Dragon's blood, kids think it's horrible. So I guess it must be very nice in that case.

Hooray!

I have finished my novel. Hooray! Feels wonderful and scary. Now I am editing it and adding the in fills, which tie it together and hopefully will be done in a couple of weeks. Thanks to those of you who are proof reading for me. It's very much appreciated. The scary part is now to come when I send it out and wait, and wait, and wait, and then get a rejection slip. God I am so dreading that. However, I am not being negative (only a bit) trying to keep positive (not doing very well) upwards and onwards to the next stage as I keep telling myself.

Had the mother in law to stay over the weekend, which was nice, she's a lovely lady and I enjoy having her here. Nevertheless, I went round the house like a demented cleaning lady in the hopes she didn't find cobwebs or anything she shouldn't. The Hoover was smoking by the end of the whizz around the house. This week I can relax and let it all go to pot again.

My hubby (now the novel is finished) is on at me to send it out. I keep telling him I can't yet, it has to be 100% ready - I think this might be me procrastinating - but I should literally die if I did send out submissions and by fluke was asked for whole thing and I wasn't in a position to follow through. I think he thinks it's going to be "loads of money" I keep telling him not to hold that dream, there is only 1 JK Rowling, and then tell him about dear Annie and how slow the whole process is - he pulls a face like he's bitten into a lemon when I explain the reality - at least this keeps him off my back.

On a lighter note, xmas is nearly here - bar humbug- I hate xmas, I hate the run up, the spending, the hassle (I think I've already said this in another post). This year my cousin will be in Australia and so it will be us 4, mother in law and my grumpy parents, all in all a jolly old time - NOT! I want to go away. Nobody else does. I said I'd be happy going on my own! They won't let me. Miserable beggars. So, I suppose I'll be cooking - again.

Have been bogged down with helping my daughter with homework these last 2 weeks, and feel that my brain is frazzled beyond repair. I hated it when I was at school and I hate it now. She gets so much it's ridiculous. My son never got anything like what she does. My heart dips each night she comes home and tells me what she's got in store for that night.

My darling Henry (the dog) has taken (for some mad reason known only to dogs) to humping my cream coloured (expensive) curtains in the morning room. Only though, when he comes back after a walk all muddy and is washed down, still damp with traces of dirt in his coat. He does it when I'm not looking, the cheeky swine. It takes me over half an hour, a bucket of warm water with detergent and a cloth to wipe the dirt off again.

As soon as I am ready to post off subs I will let you know so you can all give me shoulder to cry on.